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The Alpha Male Saga: Ouverture

Hello, reader. This is Fetus_Face reporting. A lonely guy born in a shithole trying to fight his way to the top. A kissless, jobless virgin at age of 22, procrastinator, chronic masturbator and an overall waste of human. Why do I call myself Fetus Face? After posting my face on 4chan, I was given this nickname.  Imagine Gary Busey with a smaller nose, slight underbite, a huge forehead and generally squished features. Yes, not a nice sight.

I won’t post my picture though. Simply due to the fact that this would render my whole experiment useless once someone who knows me finds out. I wouldn’t be able to express myself freely and tell you the nastiest, grittiest details of this perilous journey.

A bit about myself: aged 22, studying, working out, living with a parent. Never been sincerely hugged by someone who isn’t my relative, never been kissed, never had sex. I’m pretty fit and athletic though.

My goals: become a better human. Ideally become a millionaire (liquid assets in USD) by age of 30 with a hot girl (10/10 or at least 9/10 if she has a good personality) by my side. Have 3 children, school them all and have raised them to be successful people by age of 40.

Why are my goals so high? Well, I’ve never been satisfied with mediocrity. I think MTV’s “The Cribs” and generally exposure to the superficial celebrity life shaped my thinking this way. I can’t cope with the idea of “settling” although realistically I believe everyone settles eventually. Having said that, even if I do not achieve my “life-goals”, I will know I’ve done my best and maybe something good will come out of it after all.

Currently, the most urgent matters to attend to are:
1) Get laid
2) Get driver’s licence
3) Get a job or otherwise stable income (~800-1000 USD per month).

Ideally I should get all of this done by January 2011.

As for the readers, feel free to comment, what would you like to see posted on my blog. Maybe you have some alpha male mini-challenges in mind? If so, post them in the comments.

And I’m not killing myself on webcam, at least not yet.

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