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Archive for September, 2010

Suicide the alpha male way

Why people commit suicide? Because they are cowards? Because they are seeking a way out? I mean, sure suicide is the best way out if you are a paralyzed herb or live in constant pain, but what if you are just an unfortunate beta male ugly fuck that gets his emo moments from time to time? Let’s think about this logically for a minute…if you have really nothing to lose but your life, if you are at the lowest of low…just think of all the cool shit you can do! I’ll just list a few things from my head:

1. Sell everything and spend all your money on drugs, whores and orgies. Who cares if you get addicted and full of STD’s, you’re dying anyway.

2. Do something that you always wanted to do but was afraid because it would end you up in jail or worse. You are going to die, who cares what happens? I’m not going to post any examples, but use your imagination.

3. Sell everything and buy that car you always wanted and spaz the fuck out until you kill yourself in an accident.

By executing any of the above scenarios one will not only gain pleasure beyond wildest imaginations but as well become relatively famous/infamous, even if this fame is short lived. Obviously these methods are best used when one has reached a certain age, 70 years perhaps, but if you are really, really desperate for a way out, I think the above mentioned scenarios can be performed at any age.

What I will do once I get really old: Announce that the woman who I die having sex with will receive all my inheritance. Participants must be 18-28, starting from 8-10 on the 10 grade hotness scale. Isn’t there a more beautiful way of going out? Of course, everything will be recorded and later put on the internet or whatever media will be around in 60 years. I mean, if fucking young hot women as an old grumpy creep is not alpha, I don’t know what is. I suggest you guys do the same. But as for now, acquire that currency!

If you have any great (read: alpha) suicide ideas, feel free to post them in the comments.

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Some fashion thoughts

So I was browsing through lookbook.nu today to find some inspiration for dress styles that would help me improve my overall persona. After all – impressions count and people make an impression based on your looks in the first few seconds. Take a look at the guy on the left. Somewhat daring, yet original and stylish combination. I’m tall, athletic, so technically I could wear something similar and pass as a cool hipster guy, right?

WRONG! You see, I believe the reason why that guy got hyped in the TOP is because he is attractive, simple as that. Imagine the same guy with a face of Gary Busey, would people still see him as stylish, cool and sexy or as a crazy, creepy dude?

My point is, do I really have to resort to classical grandpa clothing like the one to the right just because I don’t have a nice face? Is there a style that would look cool on an ugly person and make him sexier?  This is one thing that really grinds me gears and I have to find a way to somehow live through this – beautiful people can wear pretty much anything and they will still be considered attractive, cool and maybe even stylish. But if you are an uggo and fuck up – hello creeper zone!

I might be wrong about this, but somehow I have yet to see a really cool and stylish person who is also ugly.

Currently I’m dressing pretty safely yet in an elegant manner. Blazers, button down shirts, black pants or navy jeans and black shoes or sneakers. I’ve found that black is one of the best colors to go with my pale skin tone. My tip would be to always wear clothing that contrasts with your skin. For example, if you are dark skinned, lighter, pasty colors will look good but for a fair skinned person they will blend with the skin and it will look rather shit.

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The Alpha Male Saga: Ouverture

Hello, reader. This is Fetus_Face reporting. A lonely guy born in a shithole trying to fight his way to the top. A kissless, jobless virgin at age of 22, procrastinator, chronic masturbator and an overall waste of human. Why do I call myself Fetus Face? After posting my face on 4chan, I was given this nickname.  Imagine Gary Busey with a smaller nose, slight underbite, a huge forehead and generally squished features. Yes, not a nice sight.

I won’t post my picture though. Simply due to the fact that this would render my whole experiment useless once someone who knows me finds out. I wouldn’t be able to express myself freely and tell you the nastiest, grittiest details of this perilous journey.

A bit about myself: aged 22, studying, working out, living with a parent. Never been sincerely hugged by someone who isn’t my relative, never been kissed, never had sex. I’m pretty fit and athletic though.

My goals: become a better human. Ideally become a millionaire (liquid assets in USD) by age of 30 with a hot girl (10/10 or at least 9/10 if she has a good personality) by my side. Have 3 children, school them all and have raised them to be successful people by age of 40.

Why are my goals so high? Well, I’ve never been satisfied with mediocrity. I think MTV’s “The Cribs” and generally exposure to the superficial celebrity life shaped my thinking this way. I can’t cope with the idea of “settling” although realistically I believe everyone settles eventually. Having said that, even if I do not achieve my “life-goals”, I will know I’ve done my best and maybe something good will come out of it after all.

Currently, the most urgent matters to attend to are:
1) Get laid
2) Get driver’s licence
3) Get a job or otherwise stable income (~800-1000 USD per month).

Ideally I should get all of this done by January 2011.

As for the readers, feel free to comment, what would you like to see posted on my blog. Maybe you have some alpha male mini-challenges in mind? If so, post them in the comments.

And I’m not killing myself on webcam, at least not yet.

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